I'm caught in between an argument between my daughter and her step mother, what do i do?

My daughter is 24, is well adjusted and will soon get her master's degree in business. She lives on her own closer to the college she attends with a roommate. My wife (her step mother) and I have been together for 10 yrs, married for 7. I have my daughter, she has two sons, 24 and 27. The younger son has a g/f and young son, living with her parents. Her older son lives with my wife and I. My wife and daughter have gotten along well together all this time until a trip we (wife, daughter and I) recently took to see a pro football game. At the game we all got into a disagreement on how a situation we encountered was being handled by my wife. My wife wanted to let the travel agent we got the tickets through know that they weren't the tickets we were promised. My daughter and I were anxious to just get settled in the seats that we did have and wanted her to call the agent later. After my wife finished her call, my daughter made a comment to her that didn't sit well with my wife that started an exchange of words. Instead of butting in, I foolishly walked away, mostly because I was freaked out, I guess, that this was happening. My wife went and got seated herself, leaving us behind. I was advising my daughter that she shouldn't have said anything, but being the strong willed person she is, she did. She commented that part of the reason was that she also didn't like the way my wife was treating me on the trip (being bossy, taking me for granted). A side of my wife she hadn't previously seen I guess. At this point my daughter was upset with me letting my wife talk to her the way she did and my wife mad at me for not standing up for her. After making a call to her b/f, he advised her to apologize to my wife, which she surprisingly did, which cooled the situation, at least for the rest of the game. When we got back to the hotel, she went to her room and we ours without any further incident. The blank really hit the fan the next night when we were returning from a long day trip. My daughter,who was sitting in the front seat, rolled her window down to take a photo, sending a rush of cold air into the rear of the car where my wife was sitting. She kinda snapped for my daughter to close the window, which she did reluctantly. She then replied she was going to open the window again for a short time and did, which set my wife off. My wife rolled off a few insults, calling her a spoiled brat and something about her mother which my daughter responded negatively to. Luckily we were scheduled to leave the next day. My wife told my daughter that she didn't want her coming to our house till we all cool off which my daughter took as indefinitely and was really upset. Now that we're home, my wife and I have settled our differences and wants to try and get things as close to how they were before we left. My wife has suggested all three of us go see a counselor, which I wholeheartedly agree to, but my daughter totally refuses. She says that me and my wife need to go to counseling for the way my wife treats me etc. In a way she does have a point, we do have issues. My daughter looks at my wife in a totally different light since the trip. Right now I'm really missing my daughter. There has never been a rift like this between us. She's really mad at me. I'd appreciate any views from those out there who may have experienced a situation like this.